In the Disneyfied version of the popular fairytale, Cinderella,our heroine is more acted upon (i.e.victim) than acting. Her mother has died and her father has remarried the equivalent of the Wicked Witch of the West, with her two equally mean daughters. What’s a good girl to do?
Well, definitely not some of the things Cinderella does if you don’t want to sabotage your creative work and career. In an attempt to always be loving, good and kind, like Cinderella, are you guilty of:
- Working hard for everyone else, but not for your creative work? When Cinderella’s mother dies, Cinderella ceases being the respected daughter of the house, and becomes, instead, the house slave. Her response to all the hard work is to either work harder or to sit crying over her mother’s grave. Why she didn’t take action to change that? Who is your wicked stepmother, someone who sees you as a glorified handmaiden? Do you have an inner stepmother with high expectations and demands? Whoever it is, decide to stop picking the lentils from the ashes to prove that you are worthy to go the ball, i.e. do your creative work. There will always be meals to cook, homes to clean and people who need us. Remember, even Cinderella asked for help, even if the help were pigeons.
- Waiting for permission? Cinderella asked her stepmother if she could go to the ball. And she asked three times! Why? Did she expect her stepmother to change? Do you too often ask permission—to break creative rules, to take time for your work, to spend time with other creatives, to nurture and invest in your creativity? Are you hoping that some beneficent fairy godmother will come rescue you? Good luck with that. Decide what you want to do creatively and then do it.
- Waiting to be recognized, rescued or valued? After Cinderella left the ball, did she go back to reclaim her slipper or take any action to show the Prince she was his true love? No! Why not? She should have gotten her butt up to the castle and showed them the other slipper as her proof, regardless of her ragged dress. Do you have a tendency to work really hard on your writing or painting or other creative work and then make excuses why it’s not ready to put out into the world yet? Do you hide in your studio or office waiting for the Prince of Good Fortune—in the form of a literary agent, publisher, major gallery, or some other talent scout—to ride up on a white horse and discover you? Sorry, that type of fairytale ended in the 1950’s, and no one is going to honor and value your work if you don’t honor and value it enough to get out there and fight for it.
Of course, I’ve succumbed to the Cinderella Cindrome myself—with my weaving, my writing and my business. And until I was ready to take action, to confront the Prince in the palace, nothing happened. But I did take action eventually. If I hadn’t taken action, I’d still be sitting among the cinders picking out lentils.
Facing fears of rejection and failure is hard to do. Daring to initiate action without permission can be even scarier because it can change the dynamics of significant relationships. And getting out there and doing whatever it takes to have you and your work recognized and appreciated is scary, exhausting, exhilarating, rewarding, confusing, challenging, freeing…well, you get the picture.
The only cure for the Cinderella Cindrome is ACTION. Don’t wait for the Prince of Good Fortune. Make time for your work. Don’t ask for permission—write, sing, dance, paint, weave, create. Honor your work. Get it—and you—out into the world.
If the shoe fits, wear it, but be the Prince and Princess of your creativity. Then you and your work are sure to live happily ever after.