Do You Need to Curb Those Yes-Buts ?

It never fails. Whether you travel for the pleasure of it or to lead or attend a conference or retreat, you will inevitably encounter the Yes-but.

You’ve seen the little beasties. They have very thick hoofs for digging their feet in. Their ears are small and frequently flop down making it hard for them to hear.  Their fur is often bland for purposes of camouflage and blending in, but their voices are loud and sometimes whiny.

They have a variety of calls but those calls are the same in one area of the country as another.  And, unfortunately, they are not rare.

“Yes—but I/we never do it that way!”

“Yes—but my situation/job/relationship/work is different…”

“Yes—but that won’t work for me or my creative work…”

Yes—but so-and-so the expert on such-and-such said I HAVE to do it this way.”

“Yes—but you don’t understand…”

“Yes—but that’s too hard/scary/risky/costly (pick adjective of choice).”

Also, unfortunately, it doesn’t matter rather the little beastie is yours, or belongs to someone else, Yes-buts are voracious little eaters of time and energy, and trip up others, like you, who are ready and willing to explore, learn or try something new.

If one of these little beasties stows away with you on your travels this summer and you suddenly discover it sitting next to you at lectures or in the airport, or if you encounter someone else’s, be prepared.

Pack your special magic wand that turns every cry of the Yes-but into a What-if?

“What-if I/we do it that way? Will it lead to deeper or different work?”

“What-if my situation/job/relationship/work is different?  How can I adapt this?”

“What-if I try this for me or my creative work?  If it doesn’t work, then I’ve learned something.”

“What-if the so-and-so expert on such-and-such is right AND there are other approaches that are equally, or even more, successful?  Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have options?”

“What-if I ask for help so we both have the complete picture?”

“What-if that feels too hard/scary/risky/costly (pick adjective of choice), AND in making the effort or weighing the risk, I learn more about myself and my work?”

Personally, I prefer to have What-ifs around.  They have short hair and don’t shed.  They are quieter, more introspective, with perky little ears with excellent hearing and little paws that enable them to run and climb and explore.

What-ifs don’t disrupt the energy of a workshop or a conversation.

All around, they are just much better companions for traveling and learning.

If you don’t have a What-if wand, just click your heels three times and wave your hand over a Yes-but and say, “Abra-ca-dabra, What if?”

But you have to stay on the lookout.  Those Yes-buts are sneaky little beasties.