Recently, I spoke with a friend and client who is feeling challenged by the demands from family and friends for her time and space.
She’s feeling understandably frustrated and concerned. For her, it feels like the time and energy she could be using for working on manuscript revisions are slipping away while nothing gets done on her novel. 
I know just how she feels. I, too, am trying to carve out revision time in the midst of travel time and the needs of family and friends.
Not to mention, my need for a little down time—time to read, relax, sleep, dream, renew.
Not going to happen anytime soon. For my client or for me.
So what are your options when life gets in the way of your writing?
- Beat yourself up for not qualifying for a big ‘S’ on your chest. I mean, really, you’ve done everything a super being possibly could–except fly—right?
- Give up trying to do your writing or creative work. Because obviously the Universe is sending you a big fat message about the value of what you do, isn’t it? And the value is so low on the list it’s like the smallest print on the eye chart at the optometrist’s office. You better have great specs on to read it.
- Play Pinnochio (no, not pinochle) and lie…to yourself. Tell yourself your work doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter, while your nose gets longer and longer and longer! Obviously other things must be more important or you’d find a way to write, right?
Wrong.
Sometimes life gets in the way. People, including you, get sick. Weather and Mother Nature wreak havoc. Weddings, funerals, births, graduations, holidays, etc. all pop up and demand time and attention and energy.
So, acknowledge your limitations as a person and a creator. You can’t fly, you have only so many hours in a day, and it’s hard to keep something a priority when you are the only one it’s important to.
Then…
Ask yourself three questions:
- What can I change or let go of, at least for now? Even though you worked really hard to earn that ‘S’, be sure that the trade-off for it is worth it. If it’s the well-being of a friend or family member, great. Just as long as your health and well-being hasn’t suffered in the process. Watch out for the kryptonite.
- What are my priorities for today, this week, this month? Sometimes, family and friends top the list, and that’s okay. But other days or weeks, your writing will top the list, and that’s okay, too. Just be sure to keep your writing or creative work in front of you in large print so it doesn’t end up buried at the bottom of the list.
- Can I admit that my work does matter, is very important to me and then forgive myself when I fail to make space and time for it? As a writer, it is so easy to beat yourself up for not doing the writing and editing and revising, but the challenge is really to forgive yourself when you don’t give it enough time and space, because if you don’t, you’ll destroy your relationship with it.
As Elizabeth Gilbert says in her new book, Big Magic, what will make you finish is not discipline but self-forgiveness.
Accept when you can’t give your work enough time or any time. Acknowledge your own limitations. Then, forgive yourself without beating yourself up or lying to yourself or others about the importance of your work.
Then, get back to doing your writing—as soon as you can, when you can.
Because, sometimes, life gets in the way.